


Seek

by vulcanicity



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 21:39:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3952714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulcanicity/pseuds/vulcanicity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Two Cathedrals. CJ needs some sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seek

**Author's Note:**

> Set after Two Cathedrals, but before CJ's fuck up in the press conference in Manchester Part 1.
> 
> This is my first fanfic in like, 6 years. Please be nice.

Danny isn't around when the MS is announced, and as much as he's made CJ's life more complicated over the last few years, she wishes he was around. Maybe she's naïve, maybe she's being silly, but she doesn't trust anyone in the West Wing right now, and maybe - just maybe - Danny could stop her from feeling like she's falling at a million miles an hour with no end in sight.

 

Ever since this happened, ever since Toby told her  _I'll be in my office when you're done_  and she had felt her world fall out beneath her feet, she's been lost. Yes, Leo and Toby and Josh and Sam know too, and they're her friends, but at the same time she feels so completely and utterly alone.

 

After the TV interview and the press conference, she gets an e-mail.

 

_CJ -_

_I'm sorry._

_If you need to talk you know where I am._

 

She sits at her desk and she could so easily sit there and cry. It's been a while since she's seen him, but she can still picture his face and his cheeky grin and the way he looks at her when she's just grabbed him and kissed him. She wants his arms around her; she wants him to hold her and get her drunk and tell her that everything is going to be ok.

 

_Are you in DC?_

 

His email sat in her inbox for hours, and she doesn't expect him to reply if he is, because it's 1am and no sane person would be awake right now.

 

_Yes._

 

Clearly she's not the only one so wide awake that she feels like she may never sleep again.

 

_Can I come over?_

She shouldn't be doing this. She hasn't seen Danny in quite some time, but he's not working in the White House anymore, and honestly she's at the point in this horrible week, month, year, administration, where she doesn't really care anymore.

 

_Yes._

 

CJ stands, shuts off her laptop, grabs her coat and purse, and flies out the door. The West Wing is practically empty and she's walking as fast as she can. Then she realises that she has no idea where she's going, so she doubles back to her office and picks up her phone.

 

She dials and he picks up on the first ring. There are no pleasantries, just a quick "Where do you live?" and he tells her and then she hangs up, because she doesn't want to waste any time on a phone conversation when she could just as easily be heading towards his apartment and - hopefully - a strong drink and enough peace and quiet for her to actually comprehend everything what's happened in the last few days.

 

Danny's apartment is close enough that she could walk, but it's a cold night and she's beyond exhausted so instead, she grabs a cab.

 

Before she knows it, the taxi has pulled up outside a nice-looking apartment building and she's climbing out, handing over a handful of notes to the driver.

 

Danny's standing on the steps, a drink in hand, and a sad look on his face. She's so unbelievably grateful to see him that she practically runs up the steps and into his arms.

 

Right now, she doesn't care if there's a photographer watching them - though why would there be, when the whole world is concentrating on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue - because it's  _Danny_  and the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket.

 

They hold onto each other for what feels like forever (he's holding on too, because he's hurting too, because he likes the Bartlets and Josh, Toby, Sam and Leo and this whole situation is unbelievably painful), and then he pulls out of the hug, takes her hand and walks her up to his apartment.

 

CJ doesn't really know what to say, and Danny doesn't either, so instead he takes her coat and purse, drops them on the couch and then wanders into his kitchen. CJ sits on the couch, her hands resting in her lap, her mind overworked and overtired. Danny re-enters the room with a bottle of scotch and two glasses.

 

Danny pours her a drink, and a small smile graces her face as he hands it to her. "How're you doin', CJ?" He's knows it's a silly question, given the circumstances.

 

"Well the President just told the whole world that he has MS, Dolores Landingham died, there's been a coup in Haiti and I'm fair,t sure I'm going to out of the job in 18 months, so things are just swell, Danny, thanks for asking"

 

She's being sarcastic and Danny doesn't deserve it, but  _goddammit_ , she deserves a few minutes where she doesn't have to think through every single thing she lets out of her mouth. She can feel a breakdown in the horizon - she hasn't cried yet, or screamed, or gotten horrifically drunk because work has been consuming her more than it usually does and that's saying something - and Danny's not helping, She can feel his eyes boring into her, and his hand is resting on the sofa between them, so close it's almost touching her leg.

 

"I'm sorry...I just...he's like a second father to me" CJ feels a tear slip down her face because this man, this man who she has worked so, so hard for, this man she would give anything for, this man who she loves like a father,  _lied_ to her,  _lied_ to the world and it hasn't quite sunk in yet. He grabs her hand and squeezes tightly.

 

The tears continue to slip down her cheeks. Soon she's sobbing quietly, and she can't breathe. Danny reaches over and takes the glass out of her hand, settling it on his coffee table. "Oh CJ" His voice in quiet and sad and she breaks at that moment, her head sinking into her chest and her sobs turning audible. She leans against him and he grabs her and holds her for what feels like an eternity.

 

Her tears soak through this shirt, and a few tears of his own drop into her hair. He is disappointed in a man he trusts, worried for his health, and proud of the way he has handled the last several days all at the same time. "You did amazing" he says, because it's true. He got home from his assignment in Kenya too late to attend the press conference, but he's seen the highlights on CNN, and CJ did the best she could have ever done at the start of that press conference.

 

The tears stop and she raises her head. "I'm sorry" She says and it's not just for the wet patch on his shirt, "I just needed someone to talk to who doesn't work in the White House-"

 

"It's ok, CJ, I told you I'd be here and I meant it" He smiles slightly and takes a risk; his hand moves to her face, using his thumb to wipe away the remaining tears. She looks beautiful, even with tears staining her face and pure exhaustion emanating from every pore. He'd kiss her, if circumstances were different. He loves the feel of her lips on his, it's makes him think of happier times, before MS, before Mrs Landingham, before Rosslyn.

 

"I haven't even had a chance to process this, really. He's like a second father to me, and he has this illness that is going to affect his whole life, and Abbey's, and they lied to all of us." She shouldn't really talk about it, she knows that just being here means he could be subpoenaed, but if she doesn't talk about it with someone other than Toby (who's angry), Sam (who's even angrier) or Josh (who's being completely un-Josh-like), she's going to go completely and utterly crazy.

 

"And I'm so, so tired. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I can't even think clearly anymore." Everything for the last week and a half has been MS, the re-election question, planning and praying and hoping that they've thought through every scenario and now they're here, and the everyone knows, and it's just a matter of time before the subpoenas and testimonies and god knows how many hours with the White House Counsel's Office. She needs a few hours, a night, just to get her head around it.

 

President Bartlet has MS. Jed Bartlet has MS. The man who is like a father to CJ has MS.

 

_Multiple Sclerosis._

"What do you need?" Danny asks, and CJ isn't really sure of the answer. There are a whole host of things she needs, but she's not sure Danny has the power to go back to 1997 and get 'the candidate' to tell them all the truth about his health.

 

"Maybe I could sleep for a while?" She asks, because she definitely needs sleep, even if she doesn't know the rest of what she needs, and there's not a chance in hell that she would make it back to her own place without falling asleep.

 

"Sure, follow me" He gets up off the couch, and takes her hand. He leads her through his apartment to his bedroom. It's cosy and warm but even in her sleep-deprived state, she knows that this is weird because  _she's in Danny's bedroom_ ; she's dreamt of this before and imagined what it would be like. She's staring at his bed, feeling all sorts of awkward, but Danny just grabs some sweatpants and a t-shirt (Fighting Irish!, of course) and hands them to her "I'll be on the couch."

 

She's missed Danny more than she'd care to admit, and more than almost anything she can think of, she wants to be held by someone tonight. "Will you stay?" She asks, and he'd never refuse her.

 

"Of course" he says, "I'm just gonna..." He points towards what must be his bathroom and walks away from CJ. He closes the door and CJ takes the opportunity to change. She shrugs off her jacket, her pants and blouse and bra, and pulls on his sweatpants and t-shirt - they smell like Danny and it makes CJ smile - and sits on his bed.

 

Danny exits the bathroom and even in this horrible, terrible, beyond ridiculous situation, he can't help but smile because  _CJ Cregg is sitting on his bed_. He's had a crush on her for years, but he never thought this would actually happen. "I got you a toothbrush out" He says and she stands, smiles and walks into the bathroom.

 

She locks the door behind her and Danny changes into a pair of pyjama pants. He pulls back the comforter and climbs into bed.  _CJ Cregg is about to get into his bed_.

 

It isn't just CJ that's exhausted. Danny's been living in another timezone for months, and it's all catching up with him now. CJ opens the door and walks towards the bed. She climbs in and pulls the comforter up over herself, and faces Danny. "Thank you" she says, and leans in and gives him a soft kiss on the lips. "Can we go to sleep now?" She asks and he nods, rolling over and reaching for the light switch.

 

"Goodnight CJ" The room plunges into darkness, and the comforter rustles as Danny gets comfortable. He moves over slightly, so that he can feel the warmth of her body next to his. He doesn't want to overstep any boundaries, but they are in the same bed, so he decides screw it. He moves closer, his arm coming into contact with her back. She doesn't stop him, in fact she moves backwards slightly. Her back comes into contact with his stomach. "CJ?" He questions if this is ok.

 

"Hold me, Danny" Her voice is sure and steady and he isn't going to turn her down. He puts his arm across her waist and leans his head against hers.

 

CJ finally gets the peace and quiet she's needed since Leo told her.

 

She relaxes against him.

 

Eventually, they fall asleep.


End file.
